


Letter S: Side Effects

by authorangelita (angel)



Series: Fic Alphabet Challenge: Teen Wolf [22]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cemetery, Darkness Around The Heart, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Future Fic, M/M, RIP Allison Argent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 09:23:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6464797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel/pseuds/authorangelita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the 10th anniversary of Allison's death, Stiles visits her grave and feels the ever-present darkness around his heart a little more acutely than usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letter S: Side Effects

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Fic Alphabet Challenge at [my Tumblr](http://authorangelita.tumblr.com/)

Stiles waited until well after dark before slipping out of the house and driving to the cemetery. He knew that Derek had heard him leave – there was no way his husband hadn't heard the engine start – but he doubted the werewolf would follow him. 

The cemetery gate was locked, but Stiles had known how to get around that since he was eleven. While he could pick the lock, he didn't need to. The landscaper's hide-a-key fake rock was behind the shrubs to the left of the gate. 

He took the long way around, stopping by the headstone that read _Claudia Stilinski_ just long enough to kiss the tips of his fingers and press them to her name. "Love you, Mom," he whispered as he stepped away. 

Stiles went out of his way to pat the headstones of the friends he'd lost over the years: Erica and Boyd, Deputy Tara, Heather, so many others. His heart clenched painfully when he saw each name, etched in weathered stone. It didn't matter how many years passed; their deaths would always weigh on him. 

Finally, he stepped up to the grave that he was there to visit and took a seat on the cold grass beside it. The name was lit up by the moon, and he stared at it for a moment as if expecting it to change, like this was a nightmare, but the letters remained the same: _Allison Argent_.

It had been ten years since he'd last seen her face, her smile at something ridiculous Scott had said, her exasperation with Stiles and his teenage antics. Ten years since the nogitsune had caused her death while using Stiles' body as its visage. On many levels, he still felt responsible. He had long ago accepted that he always would. 

"So, it's been a year," he said, hoping that speaking out loud would derail his train of thought. "Scott and Kira's little girl is in pre-school now, and she talks more than me. No one really knows how that's possible. She just never seems to tire of it. Derek and I babysit on Thursday nights, and she's exhausting. I always feel for my parents afterwards, for having to put up with me and my ADD for so many years. 

"We're still having the 'kid' talk. Derek and me. I just… There's so much blood on my hands, on both of our hands. I don't want to bring a child into that kind of world. Sure, it's been peaceful for awhile, but you never know when an alpha pack or an evil spirit is going to pop up and go on a murder spree. 

"I'm so tired of fighting him on it though. He always wanted a big family, and I wish I could give him that, agree with him on it. I just… can't."

Stiles sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. He was so tired, but he couldn't sleep on nights like this. Nights when the darkness around his heart threatened to suffocate him, threatened to engulf him and wash him away into the gloom. 

Deaton had said that the darkness would be there for the rest of their lives, and he was right. There were days when Stiles felt carefree and unburdened by the sacrifice that he'd made for his father, for Scott's mom, for Allison's dad. And there were days when he couldn't breathe and thought that he was seeing Allison out of the corner of his eye, angry and ready to attack him with her daggers. 

He was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn't hear the car stop in the parking lot or the footsteps approaching in the grass. When a hand landed on his shoulder, he jumped and gasped and threw his hands up in a defensive gesture.

"Whoa, hey." Derek took a step back and held out his hands, palms up and empty of weapons or claws. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Stiles pressed a hand to his chest and willed his heart to slow down. "What are you doing here?"

"You've been gone for over an hour. I was worried." Derek's eyes darted from Stiles to the gravestone and back again. "Do you want me to go?"

Stiles shook his head and hugged his arms around his body. It only took a moment for Derek to remove his coat and wrap it around Stiles' shivering body. "Will you wait for me in the car? I'll only be a few more minutes."

Derek nodded and tugged Stiles closer by the front of the coat to give him a gentle peck on the lips. "I'll turn on the radio so I can't hear."

"Thanks," Stiles murmured and listened to his husband's footsteps retreat until he heard the car door shut and the faint sounds of a classic rock song. 

Stiles turned back to the gravestone and bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Allison. You never should have been caught in the middle of everything, and I wish every day that you were still here. I'm sorry that we didn't get to know each other better, and I'm sorry that you and Scott didn't get to have a second chance. I'm so sorry."

The cemetery was still and quiet around him as it had been for the last several years when he visited her grave on this night, the anniversary of her death. He didn't expect any sort of response, but he lived in Beacon Hills, and he'd seen things far stranger than a little communication from beyond the veil. 

Slowly, he turned and made his way to the parking lot. He locked the gate behind him and made sure that his car was also locked before sitting down in the passenger seat of Derek's SUV. "I'm sorr-"

Derek interrupted by putting his index finger on Stiles' lips. "No apologizing. You needed to come, and that's okay. Like I said, I was just worried."

Stiles nodded and leaned back in the seat while Derek backed out of his parking spot and headed for home. 

They were both quiet for several minutes before Stiles reached out and threaded his fingers through Derek's right hand, which was resting against his thigh instead of on the wheel. "I love you, and I'm so glad you're here with me."

Derek glanced over at him and gave him a soft smile. "I love you too, and I'm very glad you're here with me."

Stiles snuggled deeper into Derek's coat, squeeze his husband's hand, and fell asleep before they were halfway home. 

~End


End file.
